Nkosi sikelel’ iNigeria

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God bless Nigeria, we really and truly need God’s blessings. I had actually planned to write about something else when the news of the dana air crash got to me, all of a sudden i felt cold and words failed me. Over 150 souls gone just like that, earlier that day a church had been bombed in bauchi, the recent death toll has been staggering.

Despite my usual positive albeit carefree attitude i just had to sit and think about all the recent happenings, it hits you really hard in the gut. Nigeria, a country where up is down, a country with so much potential and promise but without the right people to nurture said potential, everything is wrong from the higher echelons of society all the way to the bottom. The status quo for everyone in power seems to be ‘take what you can, give nothing back’. The government either don’t know, don’t show or just don’t want to care. People are dying in their hundreds, there’s no food, power supply is a luxury and lets not even get started on infrastructure.

Our top man GEJ as he’s fondly called doesn’t seem to have a clue, i just wonder if he’s surrounded by rabid monkeys cuz it baffles me how everything has come to this, the boko haram problem looks like it has come to stay and there doesn’t seem to be a solution in sight, mr presido has no idea who they are, where they are what they want, who is behind them. That’s what they tell us anyways, i’ll leave room for conspiracy theories. I’m not going to go on and on about GEJ’s presidency, i’ll let y’all come to your conclusions on that.

As much as we might like to point 150 million fingers at those in power, we need to look at ourselves. On some level we’ve played a part in Nigeria’s failures. W. Clememt Stone said “Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them”. We’ve allowed the state of our environment to erode our values. I heard that when the dana plane crash occurred, area boys and other riff raffs started to take away parts of the plane and other valuables they could lay their hands on, why in the name of all that’s good and pure would any right thinking human being do this. The normal reaction would be to rescue any possible survivors but no not Nigerians, up is down.

A couple of weeks ago i was in the usual Lagos traffic when suddenly an FRSC vehicle came from nowhere and faced oncoming traffic, i guess with the hope that they would scare people out of their way, that didn’t quite work out. Point here is the FRSC is an organization meant to have a measure of control over such incidents on our roads, sadly they were the culprits. Danfo drivers freely use the BRT lanes like they were made for them and in some instances even stop to pick up passengers. Policemen are still collecting #20 (dunno if this is still the going rate), etc etc. What sort of example are we setting for our kids?? indirectly we’re telling them ‘hey its ok to do all the wrong things, you’ll be able to bribe your way out’. Thus the generation meant to fix the mess gets tainted as well, go figure.

There’s a constant cry of ‘pray for nigeria’ it’s something of a slogan these days. We all know the power of prayer but we’re like the proverbial student who prays to pass his exams but doesn’t bother to do any studying, we can pray all we want but until we make moves to bring about change things will stay the way they are. I mean what’s the point of ‘praying for Nigeria’ in the morning if i’m gonna drive in the BRT lane on my way to work??? For things to change our attitudes need to change, as Ice cube said “Check yo self before you wreck yo self”, we really need to check ourselves, things will only get better. Nkosi sikelel’ iNigeria- God bless Nigeria

You Snooze You Lose: the writer mololu and segun

Ok ok there’s been a lot of back and forth about omololu and how she ‘stabbed’ her friend in the back to steal segun, it actually reminded be of a close friend’s experience (that’s a story for another day). Many people see mololu as an opportunist, bitch, snitch etc etc but let’s look at it technically. The bro code clearly states that you cannot steal/date/straff or even make out with your friend’s bf/gf, but as far as I know it doesn’t cover someone who is toasting you, let alone someone who is toasting you and you know deep down you won’t gree for. This brings us to the issue of the friendzone (shudder), that terrible evil place worse than davy jones’ locker. The urban dictionary defines the friendzone as “a state of being where a male inadvertently becomes a ‘platonic friend’ of an attractive female who he was trying to intitate a romantic relationship”. We’ve all been here at some point, some hot chick you were trying to get or some dude you had your eye on. ‘I love you, kunle but I dont want to ruin a great friendship by dating you’. <———- Sound familiar??? Unfortunately for my guy Segun he got friendzoned ninja style.
We know girls LOVE to take their time to 'think' about a guy's proposal (mega eye roll) but the writer was thinking for 2 yrs!! Ahn ahn fear God na. If it was jazz she used it certainly expired, why would you keep a dude waiting for so long and not expect him to cast his eyes somewhere else?? Nigga ain't blind. He saw mololu who was willing and ready, and he switched. If it wasn't her it would have been someone else, deep down I bet she knew she wouldn't date him. Why keep a brotha hanging like that? Its mean, evil, and should be punishable by law (spits!). And throughout the 2 year period she was collecting all his gifts, attention etc gladly, I think we can call that fraud. I have no qualms with what mololu did, I just disagree with the execution. Whether or not she's after his money in my opinion is irrelevant. If as a girl a reli good guy asks my friend out and she's busy jonzing then the guys gets tired and turns his attention to me, may Zeus smite me with thunder if I say no. If you like the bros don't nogere at all, say yes. If you know you can't have a relationship with him tell him ASAP, a bro can only wait for so long. I kinda feel sorry for the writer (stress on kinda), 2 years down the drain. Not entirely though, I mean she got all the lavish gifts n all (onijekuje). Food for thought: 1.if segun wasn't a rich boy would she be crying and whingeing the way she was?? 2. If she were the one stringing a guy along and den she met someone else won't it just be sorry she'd tell the victim?? Life sometimes is like those goosebumps books we used to read where you choose a page to change the course of your story, she just chose a messed up page. If she felt she lost something so good, too bad. Its a cold cruel world out there, YOU SNOOZE YOU LOSE!!!

Blue moon rising: Woes of a Red Devil

I should have done this a while ago but I just couldn’t bring myself to. Well, I’ve healed. Moving on! Sunday 13th May wasn’t just some other day, twas a day when hearts were broken and hearts were unbroken(you get the point). Sunderland V man united & City V qpr. I was one of the very few who believed man united could ‘steal it from city, that didn’t work out in the end. Anyways hours to kick off I’d got my jersey ready, made sure there was ‘ijekuje’ in the fridge and I even bought petrol with my own money! (Unheard of). Sha matches start and I’m watching both on 2 tv’s, na so e do me reach and oh yea nepa had struck at dis time, generator to the rescue! The tension was murderous, I swear if I were in a cold room at that point I’d still have been sweating. Twenty something minutes gone rooney knocks it in and suddenly I had hope, but that disappeared as soon as zabaleta scored for city. Mumu like me I was still believing, my faith was tested when that idiot barton got sent off, his ‘I must do my own back’ attitude is so stupid! Anyway qpr down to 10 hit city on the break, I can bet with anyone that lescott’s header was a thru ball for cisse ahn ahn it was inch perfect abeg. Mackie scored again for qpr and I wan mad, all they had to do now was hold on. 2 minutes into added time and dzeko scored 2-2, I said in my mind that there was no way city would score again. Alas I jonzed big time thanks to mr aguero, I jus stood in front of the tv, cold, open mouthed, devastated, flabbergasted….. I can go on and on. In 2 minutes absolute joy became absolute heartbreak, I just turned my phones off immediately cuz I knew the enemies would start to hound me. Thank God I didn’t have any pre existing heart condition sha, twas crazy. Sunday 13th May, not just some other day….

Lessons we learnt from Zambia’s AFCON triumph et al….

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  1. You don’t need to be the most skillfull team to come out on top, it takes more than just fancy names to get the job done.
  2. If you get hit by a sharp blow to the head, DO NOT attempt to take a penalty. You just might end up doing a beckham.
  3. If the spirits of 1993 are behind you, the spirits of 1993 are behind you cc @chipolopolo
  4. Arsenal players (past and present) are lousy penalty takers and can lead to a team’s downfall.
  5. You can keep clean sheets throughout the tournament and still end up not winning, that in itself is an extremely lousy statistic.
  6. Momodou gaye is an absolute git and has no idea what football is about.
  7. And probably the biggest lesson of all: if the super eagles had qualified for the tournament it would have been anal rape all the way, nuff said.

 

Invictus

I’ve never really been a fan of poetry, ironic ‘cuz I spent 3 years as a lit student. I like only poems that rhyme (as I’m sure a whole lot of people do too). That’s why Roald Dahl is probably my favourite poet (after reading the 3 little pigs and little red riding hood you’ll get the picture). I discovered invictus and I gotta say that is very deep stuff. Though its 137 years late, thank you George Ernest Henley.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.